Blow Open Your Tabletops

Now to address a few burning Bridal FAQs re: table settings, centerpieces, and personal style. A wedding registry is no time for strict guidelines, but rather a chance to begin building your collection for decades of dinner parties to come. No matter what stress should ever consume your day, you can ease out of it by cooking dinner, sipping a glass of wine, and setting the table (and mood) for the night ahead.

No need to register for two china patterns, one fancy and one for everyday. Way too old school! Far better to delve deep into your inner being and suss out all the aspects of your person. Think color, moods, passions, place...

For example, maybe you appreciate hand-carved wood -- consider a collection of handmade bowls. There's no end to what you can do with these. Use smaller ones for olives and nuts at cocktail hour, or for individual starter salads at dinner. Fill larger bowls with BIG salads, or perhaps something else interesting (citrus, hankies, pens and paper for a parlor game) to set as a centerpiece. Or, choose wooden chargers. And you know what looks good with wood? Gold, of course!

Just look at this extravagant, marvelous, opulent Royal Crown Derby. Who can afford to collect a whole set? And besides that, who wants to? It is so too much, simply over the top. All that gold cancels out to equal a big let down, where a one-size plate sizzles and shines on the table. Perfection! A gold salad plate looks amazing filled with greens for a salad course, chocolate tart for dessert... Actually, everything looks good with gold.

Okay, how to satisfy your love of birds? Consider Ginori. There is nothing as wonderful as a set of 8 or 12 or 24 dinner plates featuring birds. These beauties yearn for a Thanksgiving dinner to be placed on them, but dazzle even under an everyday roast chicken. These plates say something about you; your passion for nature, individual style, love of design. What could be more boring than a whole set of one china pattern covering the table? The older the Dean gets, the more she thinks, YUCK. This person has let someone else tell her what to do, and ignored that inner voice of what she likes.

What appeals most to us? Anything but flipping through ad-filled magazines, shopping at bridal superstores, or listening to friends and family who have never identified true style. Plates and objects on a table are a way to express yourself. So are centerpieces: flowers mixed with fruit, bunches of veggies and greens that will become tomorrows main course, a handmade pie that will become tonight's dessert.

Have fun with the rest! Modern flatware choices might include horn (so chic) or bronze (gleams on the table and unique to boot) but there is still something to be said for a classic silver pattern. The most popular through the ages? Francis the First has that swirly Baroque feel which pairs so well with plain, stark, straight. Don't be afraid to mix high and low. As for napkins, it's all about juxtaposing different colors, textures, and aspects of your personality. Sometimes you feel flirty and fun, other times more composed and traditional. Sometimes girly, sometimes a huntress.

Let it all out on the table, loves. These kind of style decisions will get you well on your way to bolstering your confidence. No one needs to tell you they approve. If you like it, then go for it. That’s exactly what the Dean does, and it has always worked for her. 

Thank You StyleBlueprint!

Recently, the Dean sat down with StyleBlueprint to offer a few tips and guidelines for hosting a truly memorable dinner party: whom to invite, what to wear, how to make it special, and more. You can read the article here (and feel free to tell us about your favorite parties below!)

On Serving Nuts

One tip the Dean picked up this Summer in France and adopted at home in Charleston is an elegant way to serve nuts during cocktail hour. Fill one bowl with nuts and another with little spoons -- for instance, those sterling demitasse spoons your grandmother left you that lay hidden and unused in their felt rolls. Show your guests how to take a spoon, fill with nuts, then place nuts in their hands and snack away. The French approach accomplishes two results: individual portion control and avoiding fingertips in the food. YUCK!

Gluttony

F.O.M.O. Folks! You are missing out if you do not know it is NOT okay to serve yourself first, yourself only, yourself continuously. The modern approach to eating is gluttonous. 

How to tell if you (or  your partner) are a glutton? Use your eyes, pay attention, look around the table!

• Serving yourself wine first is not only greedy, it is gluttony.
• Do not keep helping yourself to the platter of food at the table or sideboard when others have stopped eating. No one needs three helpings, or four, or even five. (Except teenagers, whose bodies are gluttons for food and sleep.) It’s appalling to sit at a table with others, with the platter of food in front of you, and act like that platter is your personal portion.
• As a guest, you should not help yourself to seconds unless the host asks you if you want more. If this sounds like your partner (or you) then he/she may as well sit in the corner with a Dunce Hat. 

No Time for Foolishness

Recently the Dean heard news she cannot like; in fact, it has her recoiling in horror. Say it ain’t so! That people the Dean knows, and knows of (with children no less) have not turned their stoves on for over six months -- told like a brag, even with pride! This is foolishness beyond belief. These people are missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasures: relaxation, creativity, bonding, feasting at home.

Here’s what else these fools are missing:

• eating healthier meals,
• making the kitchen (instead of TV) the heartbeat of the house,
• teaching children manners, healthy eating habits, patience, focus and concentration by simply sitting at the dining table, 
• and one of the most joyous daily occurrences, spending time together with people you love eating food you love.

The Academy cannot help these folks. Is there an Academy out there for common sense?

Dinner Parties Gone Wrong

Wondering what to do when a dinner party goes south?

• DON'T do what Bravo’s Southern Charmers did at Thomas Ravenel’s: look and linger. When a train wreck happens, move fast A.S.A.P. Of course it’s mesmerizing to watch an explosion, but the smart money doesn't. They leave and want no part of a coming disaster. They run, run, run out the door if they are guests who have the option to do so...* 
• DO "keep calm and carry on" if you find yourself host to a train wreck. The Dean once had a guest who threw a tantrum right at her dinner table. The conversation involved politics (might well happen this year, beware!) Said guest lost his cool and bolted. If this happens to you, there is a positive -- people will never forget the evening. To keep things from following suit, simply pretend like nothing happened. The rest of the guests are waiting to see what you do. Guests take their cue from their captain.

*Luckily behavior this bad is a reality on reality shows only and not likely to occur at any real life dinner party. 

Shut the Fork Up! It Goes Where?

Photographed by Landon Neil Phillips for Local Palate, Spring 2016.

How important is it to set the fork on the left side of the plate? A very reasonable question recently asked to the Dean, and naturally the Dean has answers, two actually, both completely correct. 

If you are a young professional moving up in the world, planning on making your mark, the answer to the question is that placement of the fork is of upmost importance. Let's say you did not learn how to set a table and it escaped your notice where a fork goes. Sadly you may be marked as a person who has no clue about table manners, and perhaps even as one who is confused in other life skills, business matters, political savvy, social situations -- however incorrect these assumptions may be. Therefore, you must master the seemingly insignificant fork placement to be the person you want to portray. 

Now, if you are an older person, say as old as the Dean, it makes little difference where you place your fork. Because you know the rules, and have abided by them forever, you now have the choice to go off pist and do exactly what you want. Say you are running late for your own dinner party and arrive minutes before guests knock on the door. It is perfectly okay for you to put the pot on to boil, place a pile of silverware on the table and pour cocktails without missing a beat. You are not even required to set the table, instead ask your guests to sit down and help themselves to their own fork. Not only will your dinner be delightfully relaxed, you will be known as chic, sui generis, and possessing your own style. 

Manners and etiquette must be learned and adhered to to make our society work, including where that damn fork is placed, but once you learn the rules you are allowed to break them when you have already made your mark on the world. Got it? 

How to Hibernate: 5 Wine Collecting Tips from Femi Oyediran

The annual Charleston Wine + Food Festival is finally less than a week away! No better time to add a few choice labels to your cellar than when you're popping bottles left and right like a regular Bacchanal. Keep your eyes on the prize. Whether you collect wine for personal enjoyment or a long-term investment, our favorite Visiting Professor Femi Oyediran has a few tips to put you on the right track:

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1. Trust your taste.

Invest in classics from the regions you already know you enjoy -- i.e. if you love Chianti, try an age-worthy wine such like Fontodi's Vigna del Sorbo, or another great Sangiovese-based wine from Brunello del Montalcino.

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2. Research your Investment.

In order to build a cellar that will grow as an investment, stay on top of the labels garnering attention from critics and magazines and/or doing well at auctions. Look to reputable sources for deals on both new and older vintage wines. Pay attention to up-and-coming winemakers; hold onto those wines and watch your investment grow.

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3. Create a strong collection.

Buy at least three bottles of the same wine at a time, in different vintages when possible.

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4. Store properly.

Get a wine fridge! This will give you control over the environment you keep your wine in. Otherwise, store your wine in cool pockets of rooms in your house (55 degrees F.) where there is little light. Keep bottles on their side, not upright, to prevent cork spoilage.

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5. Embrace technology.

Every wine ages differently. Pay attention to apps on your phone like Delectable to see how others are doing with vintages you own. If you don't plan on selling the wines, invest in a Coravin device, which allows you to taste the wines in your cellar without actually opening the bottle.

How to Hibernate: Needlepoint with Janet Gregg

Looking for a way to while away the Winter? A new hobby or habit to help you relax, turn off, pass the time? Or, as Resident Needlepoint Professor Janet Gregg admits, to keep you from feeling completely unproductive when you binge-watch Bloodline in the span of a weekend? (Guilty.)

Needlepoint doesn't have to mean predictable patterns and colorways, nowhere more evident than in the lush, layered interiors of Gregg's Smith Street apartment in downtown Charleston. She has mastered the art of incorporating her uniquely modern sense of pattern with her mother's well-earned skill. They have been collaborating since Janet's childhood in Virginia; needlepoint the answer to the family's natural tendency towards constant activity, and elaborate projects that fostered social connection.

Gregg moved through several creative careers between Charleston and NYC -- floral design, fine jewelry-making, painting, and working with Charlotte Moss. Her needlepoint work reflects her multi-media experience, ranging from bright, flowing Pucci-style prints to graphic geometric designs. In her spaces, she effortlessly combines her own pillows (often her initial design or lettering, filled in by her mother) with a host of other prints, and sleek modern furniture with antiques from her parents' estate. The eclectic sense of collection on display in her previous home, an 1800s carriage house on Stoll's Alley, featured in House Beautiful last Summer.

Comfortable as she is in her new space, where she entertains on a regular basis despite her aversion to cooking, Gregg admits that she still feels like "a starving craftsman" most of the time. And while she misses her mentors (like Moss) close by, she adores her peers, and counts among her muses and proteges the likes of Sally King Benedict.

Gregg believes the true antidote to feeling unproductive is to "seize every single solitary moment so it doesn't slip away." She adamantly suggests a first-timer visit Cabbage Rose, on Broad Street in Charleston, where you can find a large piece of canvas to practice on and plenty of needlepoint wool -- the best of which is Pattern Ann.

Once you have the hang of it, start with either a pillow or a needlepoint belt, like the one she made for her nephew upon his recent graduation from Woodberry, including his school colors, mascot, nickname, jersey number, initials and graduation date. Above all, be patient! Take your time, which usually means about a month to complete a project. Gregg herself finds inspiration in knowing that anything is possible, if you set your mind to it...and there's something worth watching on TV.

For more information on needlepoint commissions or private lessons, contact us!

Mastering Prime Rib 101

Standing Rib Roast is having a moment. The Academy's line has been fielding dozen of calls about this holiday showstopper. Those of you who have never bought or cooked a Prime Rib (yes, it's the same thing) should not be be intimidated. Let the Dean hold your hand and answer any question that arise. Some of our students are so diligent that they have been practicing before the big holiday meal and texting their every questions to us. The Dean never rests!

For first-time cooks, we offer you a step-by-step guide. More advanced cooks may be amused remembering the confusion you once felt.

Prime Rib FAQ & A:

• I have big eaters. How many ribs do I need for eight people? We answered, 8 big eaters = 7 ribs.
• The butcher asked if I'd like an "easy-carve" style? Do I? Easy carve is brilliant, unless one of your guests is an expert carver. 
• Do I want to buy the fat end or the other end? We say fat end. 
• Any hints about the vodka rub? Place the roast fat side down during the before cooking time.
• So I put in at 500 degrees for 20 minutes, then do I leave it in oven to turn temp. down to 325 for the remaining cooking time? Not sure if I should take it out while the oven temperature adjusts... Beef stays in the oven. 
• My meat thermometer melted...help! Oops, can’t help you there.
• At what temperature should I remove from the oven? 120-125 degrees (interior) for rare. The roast will continue cooking after it comes out. 
• Roast is out of the oven and temperature is rising. Do I remove the roast from the roasting pan onto a cutting board so it cools down, or leave it alone? Leave it alone. 

All-star student, Logan, and her first Prime Rib.

We suggest serving Prime Rib for a holiday dinner with your closest friends, perhaps even in January after everything else subsides.  Serve with Potatoes Gratin, a big green salad, and fine red wine.  If you have leftovers, try Roast Beef Hash for a weekend brunch meal the following day.

Party Face: Q&A with Tim Quinn

Ava Gardner & the very chic-est of compacts.  [Photograph by Ida Von Dee.]

Have we mentioned it's party season? And somehow it always seems that while that may be true of the whole Western world, it's at a real fever pitch here in Charleston. We always manage to find an excuse to gussy up, go out, share a cocktail, and make merry with our neighbors. 

In all the commotion, we can hardly see straight, let alone focus on the mirror long enough to put on our faces. So we turned to our friend Tim Quinn, Celebrity Face Designer at Giorgio Armani, with all of our burning "party-ready" queries. He was so gracious to oblige.

Q. How should I prepare my face for a party?

For a party, I usually recommend a hydrating mask first and foremost.  I love the Luminessence Mask, which totally infuses your skin with hydration and brightness.  If you haven't had enough rest, you need lots of moisturizer, then a lightweight light-reflecting foundation.

Q. How does it differ from daily makeup?

Typically for daily makeup, start with a tinted moisturizer to make sure that your skin is even...

Q. If you don’t wear much makeup, what do you simply have to do before going out? 

Perhaps just terrific eyeliner, a flush of color on the cheeks and pop up the lip.  You don't need to go overboard if you're not used to a lot of make up.

Q. Eyes and lips? Or just one?

Try a smokey eye.  Play up the lip a little bit if you're just doing a classic holiday look.

Q. Is there a way to avoid lipstick on the wine glass?

Use a straw with your champagne!

Q. Is it okay to apply lipstick at the table?

It's OK to apply lipstick at the table if you have a chic compact.  I think there's actually quite at an art of seduction to a woman using her lipstick and applying at the table with a a beautiful compact and perhaps even a lip brush.

Q. What do you think about glitter on the face? Should it stay on the tree?

Glitter should stay away from your face.  Shimmer is fine, glitter is not.

Q. What are your views on getting work done in your 20s? In your 50s? (Asking for a friend. : )

I've seen this new trend in Hollywood: people getting worked on at younger ages.  While I'm starting to think that the face God gave us was just a suggestion, we should keep it to a minimum.  Little tweaks at a maturing age, I'm all for...but starting too young leads to disaster.

Many Thanks to Tim Quinn!

Raucous Guests

One reason people don't entertain is that they are worried about how their guests will behave.  People are right to worry.  Every once in a blue moon a guest will act out of line.  It is extremely rare, but explosive when it happens.  The Deans have seen people throw napkins, insult one another, get too drunk, and even get up and storm out the door.  As searing as the moment is at the time, it can electrify the party and unite the guests against a common cause.

As always, it is not what happens but how it is handled that matters.  As captain of the event, you must maintain your composure and lead your ship-ful of guests to calmer waters.  When your  attendees see you rising above the occasion, they realize that they can, too. They will form their own opinion about what happened.  Sometimes bad behavior is a one off and can be excused.  Other times the person is a reprobate and needs to be expunged from your life.

Wedding Conundrums Part 3

A wedding is not the time to look ungenerous. Examine your budget and be realistic about what you can provide. Three hundred people in black tie requires unlimited champagne and hor d'ouevres, a three course seated dinner and an extravagant band, not a DJ, and probably some sort of surprise entertainment, as well. If you can't afford this, or don't wish to entertain in this fashion, you are by no means alone. Few people can and will have this kind of wedding. So, don't ask your guests to get in black tie unless you are going to provide a black tie entertainment. 

The first of many wedding dresses & husbands for Elizabeth Taylor

Eleven thirty weddings are popular in England, why not here? This unusual time will set your wedding apart. You can choose to have a sit down luncheon from 12 to 40 people or a buffet for 200. Four thirty used to be the most popular call time for a wedding. When Dean Manigault got married her mother hit the mat when Dean Manigault wanted to start the ceremony at six o'clock. Maris asserted that 4:30 was the chicest of all times and was not to be moved from this point. Eleven thirty, four thirty, noon, whatever time you choose, just be sure the entertainment you provide is as lavish as your budget allows. The Deans have been to barbecue and beer receptions that were way more fun than the time Dean Manigault flew to Capetown and was presented with a bill at the end of the rehearsal dinner!! The single most shocking event of her long life! 

Dress No.2

If your budget solution is to have a cash bar for your wedding then you have not come up with a suitable solution. The Deans were never more shocked than when they heard about this trend.  You don't have to invite everyone you went to school with or ever met. Less guests can frequently mean more fun. Especially if none have to reach for their wallets!

Wedding Conundrums Part 2

The hour between a wedding ceremony and the beginning of the reception has bloated and become gassy.  The time was once used to get from church to reception hall and bridal photos were taken in 15 minutes.  The in-between time has expanded to an hour just as the wedding industry has grown to 51 billion dollars. This hour is filler, a non-event, leaving guests wandering around with nothing to do, no plan, entertainment...waiting for something to happen. The hour is not going to be trimmed...today, hundreds of  photos are taken.  So naturally, the Deans have suggestions. 

The timeless Grace Kelly, Princess of Monaco

Wedding guests need to be entertained, wined and dined, and not left to themselves while the bride gets all the attention. We suggest getting some sort of entertainment guests can enjoy while they wait for the party to start. A comedian has a warm up act and so does a rock concert. Every big event needs a sexy lead in to get people in the mood.  Guests leave the ceremony in good spirits and you want to build on this vibe.

Wedding planners don't address this black hole of time because they assume that if the bride and her family are not going to participate in this entertainment, then they will not want to pay for it.  Bad decision! How about hiring a trio or quartet to play? No need for Isaac Perlman. This is the warm up, not the main event. Most communities have competent music students or orchestra players who would be happy for the work.  Similarly, a signature cocktail created with the bride and groom in mind provides both a focal and talking point for guests.  Dean Pollak had a pink cactus margarita whipped up for her daughter's at home wedding because pink is Caroline's favorite color.  Not only were the drinks pink, but all the food as well - Scallops brined in beet juice, mini lobster roll etc.  Quite a show stopper!  

The Deans current favorite idea is to engage a slight of hand magician to mingle among the guests during this hour.  A professional magician will know exactly how to entertain the guests. One less problem for the bride's mother to solve!! 

Wedding Conundrums Part 1

One of our fans from Portlandia (she chars her own ice:-) wrote and asked us a question about wedding gifts. She wondered if we thought it was a good idea for engaged and newly married couples to disseminate a list of the gifts received to at least the mothers of the bride and groom. This list would aid the mothers in answering the age old question about whether the gift was received or not. We think this ideas is brilliant! 

As brilliant as this idea, she informed us of a terrifying practice that may be trending. Guests are encouraged to leave a self addressed envelope at the wedding to facilitate the bride with her thank you note writing. Let us be clear, the Deans abhor this idea! If brides are too lazy to retain the address of the wedding participants - they had to send them a wedding invitation after all - then they don't deserve to get any gifts at all. 

What the Deans would love to see resurrected is the tradition of displaying all the gifts for all to see at the wedding reception. We fear however that with the ubiquitous destination wedding that this tradition has been laid  to rest.   

Memorable Wedding Moments -- John & Jacqueline Kennedy

How Dare You Spend My Money for Me!

This might be one of the shortest blogs the Deans ever write because our message is so pithy. When you go out to eat with friends splitting the check does not mean splitting the check in half. It means everybody pays for what they consumed. If you think it goes unnoticed that you ordered three or four glasses of wine and a three course meal while your companion had tap water and an appetizer and yet you suggest that the check be split down the middle, let us tell you that you should not be surprised to get fewer and fewer invitations. You have just put your friend on the spot to pay for your indulgences. Unacceptable and rude! 

There is one thing still ruder: when the check comes, acting as if you expect to be paid for. In these modern times, even a single woman out with a couple should wrestle the check to the ground before she lets the man pay for her. She should never assume that her meal is comped. 

A Foray Into Your Foyer

The head bartender at the Paris Ritz, Colin Field, says he can extract more information about you from your cocktail order than Sherlock Holmes could. He can tell if you are there to meet a lover, sign a business contract, if you are sophisticated or just plain silly. 

The Deans can preform a similar trick but our medium is your front hall. This room or area is everyone’s introduction into your personal space. Your energy has permeated the front hall during your fifteen thousand walk throughs. The Deans look at your space with impartial eyes and cool objectivity. We can’t help but notice whether the space is open and inviting (which says you are too), or a bit more formal and harder to penetrate. Are coats and keys and pocketbooks left out for people to see, or tucked away in closets? Is the front hall decorated for every season?  Is your artwork global, local or strictly family oriented?

Just like every space in your house, the front hall should evolve through your life. Little children’s artwork is appropriate if there are little children around, but if they have children of their own, those pictures should have been swept out years ago.

The Deans charge you to look at your front hall with our eyes and be sure that what you are conveying to the world is what you mean to. If you are not sure send us a picture and we will help you figure it out. 

Dean Manigault's front hall

Texts Are Not Thank You Notes

If you have received any gifts over the holidays you need to sit down at your desk or kitchen table and write some thank you notes. In our technological age they are as rare as a hen’s tooth, but much more valuable. Your parents made you write them, and now the Deans are here to make sure your manners are still intact.

If you splurge for engraved stationary, and we highly suggest you do,  writing these notes will be fun as well. Writing on heavy stock paper is a worth while endeavor and the thick card announces to the world you are not only a person of taste, but one who possess gratitude as well.

The Deans have many ideas on writing the perfect thank you note.  We are going to give you a few thank you samples that you can use and copy & paste into your own content:

1. Everything was perfection last night, starting with you.  
2. You always set the standard for entertaining. Coming to your house is my favorite way to spend a night out. 
3. We had the most wonderful time last night. Everything from the food, the company and ambiance hit just the right note. Thank you for including me. 

Gush more if you want, it will be appreciated, but anything less than the above is sorely substandard. 

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The Deans List:

• Nancy Sharon Collins, Stationer
• Mrs. John L. Strong Fine Stationary
•  Ink Meets Paper 

Thank You Card by Ink Meets Paper

The Bedrock of Entertaining

Dinner parties are the bedrock of entertaining.  There is no better way to get to know someone than by having them over and cooking for them. A thousand nights in restaurants will never create the same amount of intimacy.  By allowing someone into your house, you are showing them your sense of style, letting them see the books you like to read, the food you like to cook: in short, who you really are.  A little bit of luxury goes a long way at home. An Old Fashioned, a few oysters in a pan roast and a spoonful of chocolate mousse set the mood for an evening to remember.  And you created it all yourself!

 The Dean’s Cheat Sheet

7 is the perfect dinner party number. One conversation shared by the whole group and enjoyed with maximum conviviality.  

Candlelight only, please. The less you can see the better everyone looks.  It is by far the most flattering of all the lights.  

Use your whole house i.e. drinks in one room, dinner at the table and coffee and cordials while lounging sofa side in your living room or den or even outside if the weather permits.

You only need one go-to menu.  It’s the Dean’s job to pair you with the right one.

Keep to a schedule.  If the cocktail hour is actually 2 hours, then someone may have a breakdown - and a drunken one, too - on the living  room floor.

Outsourcing some of the meal is brilliant.  It relieves stress and may make the party happen as opposed to being just a fantasy. No one turns down a bowl of Haagen Dazs or a dessert from from the local bakery and very few guests mind bringing a single cheese with a column of crackers.

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Here are a few of our favorite local spots for outsourcing fabulous courses.

Christophe's - great for those last minute sweets needed for any party.

Goat. Sheep. Cow. - the perfect place to shop for specialty cheeses, wines and meats to bring as a hostess gift or to supply as an appetizer.

The Wine Shop of Charleston - the place to buy super size bottles of wine to woo even the most jaded palate

The Beer Exchange - for the speciality beers which is a must have in every hipster's frig.  

A Manners Morass

Naturally the minute the Deans arrive in any city the invitations start flying in. This very excitement brings the Deans to our trickiest dilemma. What to do when you’ve accepted one invite and something better comes along shortly afterwards? Temptation looms. You can already picture yourself at the second event having the time of your life. Why did you even accept the first? You never wanted to go, and never will. Well, bad news. The reason you are so upset is that you know the answer. You must press on with your first acceptance. You have been invited to so many jump ups in the first place because of your charm and tact. By ‘best offer-ing’ at the last minute you fool no one and even if you could, your Facebook’s GPS tells all your friends where you are anyway. 

Learn more etiquette advice from our book The Charleston Academy.