Who is the wisest among us all?

“The Dream of Solomon” by Luca Giordano, 17th century oil portraying the king of Israel at the moment God imparts his fabled wisdom.

People who live in wheelchairs know how to live in confinement. Those with limited mobility find ways to connect that most of us never had to consider until now.

Charlie Harry is one of the coolest guys I ever knew. He contracted polio at eighteen. One day he was the star quarterback; the next morning he woke up paralyzed. He told me what went through his mind the morning he discovered he needed help with everything for the rest of his life: “Life just dealt me a terrible blow. Now get on with it.” Charlie was incapable of feeling sorry for himself. He had that rare fabulous quality of making everyone around him feel better. He ran a textile company where five hundred people reported to him. He became a state senator. He married a beauty. He connected to the world (way before the internet) with his Ham Radio. His friends were everywhere. 

By making those around him feel comfortable, Charlie made his handicap irrelevant. Paying close attention to the person he was talking to, he created an atmosphere of calm and fun, lots of it. He was an expert at communication, one on one and throughout the world. The gift Charlie sent Christopher for his eighth birthday? Eight gallons of dehydrated water. Think about it! Imagine the delight an eight year old experiences unpacking that box and discovering what dehydrated water looks like.

Some people have seen it all, even though they have never experienced a plague like today’s. If you are from a culture that values highly the perspective of the elderly, you already know their particular body of wisdom. They know for certain that everything goes up and down, eventually passes. Nothing lasts forever. The elderly are aware we must go through, we cannot go not around. They can step back and observe instead of react. Now is a good time to call your older friends and ask what mattered most to them in their long lives, and other details too. A reciprocal gift of attention, that call.

Cocktail Parties in Isolation

Never underestimate what you can accomplish from the comfort of your own bed! E.g. Matisse…

To stay mentally healthy, we must connect. One of the most delightful ways used to be inviting people into our homes and giving them not only food and drink but also our undivided attention. Now that the world has changed and many of us are having, or will have, health emergencies, we still need to connect but we also need behave in a different way. Instead of cocktail or dinner parties (the thought of hosting them borders on bad taste!) we will learn to gather in new ways. How else will you contribute to friends’ and neighbors’ emotional health? 

How often do we get a chance to reboot the cocktail party? A powerful and inexpensive way to host is with this simple plan. Invite someone spontaneously — because when you need a companion, we guarantee one of your friends does too. Text a time, topic and menu so a little happy vibe comes through. While you pour yourself a cocktail, a glass of wine or soda water, warm some olives to nibble and find a quiet place to sit; your friend will do the same and then Zoom, Facetime, Skype, or just call. The virtual cocktail doesn’t have to go long but it will do you both some good.

Let’s all stay connected, stay sane, stay well, stay healthy at home!