'Half a Dozen Summer Party Tips' for J. McLaughlin

“The #1 tip concerns conversations because we haven’t been face to face in so long! Just thinking about it sparks excitement, which gets energy flowing and makes party planning extra pleasurable. 

Suzanne and a guest converse at the debut of our collaboration with J. McLaughlin…

[Credit: Niki Nero Photography]

Let’s Talk
Consider possible party talk even before your event. Conversation starters can range from fun and frivolous (like showing off your matching napkins and dress) to deep dives straight for the heart of the matter. Think about each guest and what might be going on in their life so that you can ask pertinent questions, showing that they have been on your mind and that you care for them. Conversations which easily shift from light to meaningful are unforgettable. Simply skimming the surface leaves an empty feeling later. To more easily dive deep, start shallow as a means of getting there. Pointing out your matchy matchy napkins and dress will ignite laughter and spark interesting talk.…”

Read the rest of Suzanne’s party tips and find our recipe for a perfect French 75 via J. McLaughlin’s blog HERE!

A Summer Night's Dream with J. McLaughlin

Credit: Mark Staff Photography

‘“Sparkling summer cocktails in chilled glasses, your closest friends mingling amongst dragonflies and bite-sized hor’s d'oeuvres, farmer’s market blooms that match your botanical print dress, that match your napkins, that somehow magically match your notecards as well.”

A recipe connoisseur, author, and all-around party genius— when Pollak mentioned to J.McLaughlin Creative Director and Co-founder Kevin McLaughlin that she wished she had a dress that matched her fête essentials, we knew we had to make it come true…’

Now you can shop J. McLaughlin’s dreamy new collaboration with Suzanne HERE, and read all about last night’s launch party HERE (both via the J. McLaughlin blog!)

Week Three Takeaways

Here’s we learned at the Charleston Academy during the past week of Winter 2021 classes:

Besides spending time together, having fun, creating fabulous smells, getting dinner ready for tonight and tomorrow, we are also connecting kitchen to kitchen and making our worlds a friendlier place. Hang out with us to add sparkle and substance to your week. (Spots are still open for the last three weeks of winter semester — Register HERE!)

Lebanese Lentil Soup - The secret to making the soup extraordinary? 

Guest teacher Youmna Squalli says to always, always rinse the lentils and rice three times. I was a witness; the water ran clear the third time. This soup is light, fresh, fantastic. Next week Youmna takes us to Morocco for Hrira, a whole meal in a bowl!

Dinner Party Strategy - Are Covid dinner parties possible, even fun?

Why yes, they are! Last minute invitations are often the best. People who come are in the mood. Outside parties are cool, literally and figuratively. Consider buying a heated vest which charges on your pocket phone charger. Serve heart-warming food to keep bodies from cooling temperatures (i.e. dishes from Weeks One and Two: bowls of gumbo, cassoulet, onion soup or bolognese…or perhaps some from future classes: paella, tagine, chowder, shepherd's pie.)

Ragu Bolognese - How do you turn a fabulous sauce into pasta perfection? 

Toss the drained (best quality) pasta into the simmering ragu sauce. Then add just a little softened butter plus a little bit of freshly grated parmesan cheese. Toss together until mixed. Serve immediately with extra freshly grated cheese to pass. 

What are people saying about Week Three?

• Thank you for the Academy — I love your online classes and how you share your many talents. You’re a gem!

• These classes are a delight!

• I love these classes so much! I’m already in another Zoom — crazy day!

• My house smells amazing and cannot wait until 6 pm!!!

• What a lovely way to spend the afternoon.

• Thank you so much for today's dinner party class! Really fun and inspirational!

• I took two pages of notes. THANK YOU!

Dressing for Zoom Parties

Credit: J. McLaughlin blog.

Forget about wearing your sexy red jumpsuit over the holidays! We cannot see most of your body nor even your shoes anymore. In 2020, party dressing is easier than it's ever been. All you have to worry about is the top third of you, from your breasts to your brain. 

• Don’t be that person who sits 20 feet from the computer so we have to squint to find you. Make it easy on the rest of us and sit a little closer to the camera.

• Flash your eyes — make those babies up! Light up the screen with smiles again and again (even more important since we cannot see people’s mouths IRL anymore). Big earrings? Yes! Strapless? No! Looks like you are topless. As for Lights! Camera! Action! Get yourself a ring light.* Action means bringing your A game, an extra snap of energy, burning 25% brighter because your vibes do flow through. 

• Use all parts of your brain. Know when to talk and when to listen. Social and emotional IQ are more important than ever. Each of us want to be seen, heard and treasured. Big No No: looking down at your phone. Can’t you just put that thing away for an hour? Please & Thank You. 

A party on Zoom can feel festive. We know, we’ve hosted 33 weekly 30-minute installments of an online happy hour, where we create a cocktail and listen to live music. We’ve learned that fun is more likely to occur with a plan for a shared activity, such as making a recipe together.

*Buy yourself a Merry Little Xmas present: a ring light for Zoom purposes. You will look happier, younger, less stressed…

For more life tips on connecting and community, cocktails and cooking, check out the Academy’s Winter 2021 Online Courses HERE!

Milk Punch

For your tiny holiday party, we suggest starting with a classic Milk Punch!

Credit: Niki Nero Photography

Milk Punch was first recorded William Sacheverell’s 1688 travelogue from the Scottish isle of Iona. The earliest written recipe for it appeared in a 1711 cookbook; then there was Benjamin Franklin in 1763 making his clarified milk punch with brandy and lemon added to hot milk. (Clarified milk punch is a glass of translucent and elegant liquid, fantastic indeed but time consuming to make. For now, we bring you the easier milky version.)

Milk punch reached the height of popularity in the middle of the 18th century. Queen Victoria issued a royal warrant in 1838 to Nathaniel Whisson as "purveyors of milk punch to Her Majesty”. A different sort of Queen, in a different era, the 20th C. Queen Mother used to tell her butlers, “You old Queens, get this old Queen a drink!” Yet another Queen by the name of Cleopatra supposedly bathed in the white stuff. Did she do that right before Marc Anthony ravaged her? Was milk bath the magic that drew Caesar into her web?

In today’s world, milk punch has made a comeback. This year in particular is perfect for milk punch, one reason being it isn’t really meant for a punch bowl. A bowl is just too much milk punch, unless you are bathing the baby. You cannot, must not, drink this stuff all night long. Milk punch is for making one or two at a time, shaking each batch to get that foamy froth. They are not alcoholic lattes but could be mistaken for one! 

Another reason milk punch is the right beverage for this year: comfort and familiarity. All of us started life with our mother’s milk, or from a bottle. Milk may bring a feeling of safety and security. Yet milk punch is different enough to be fascinating and these juxtaposing characteristics set the stage for guests to feel safe and open up. There is something about milk punch helping to get us there, being our first beverage and all that.  

Milk punch gives a sheen to a holiday party, however small that party might be. I entertained a tiny group on Saturday night. We started out with milk punch cocktails, then we switched to our regular drinks, and the secrets started to spill. Wouldn’t you like to know what was revealed? Sorry, I am a vault. But I can share that milk punch set the stage.  

As cocktails have grown more fabulist, hyper intellectual, or just plain weird over the last 15 years, bartenders worth their muster feel they must create, like a professor trying to achieve tenure, so they mix new drinks with crazy ingredients and silly names. Sometimes we long for plain and normal, a classic that has stood the test of time, vestige of good old days, maybe even the days of 1688 or 1711. Since our old world is utterly changed, a new one struggling to be born, milk punch fits the times. 

The other stuff that turns milk into punch: Cognac or bourbon. Simple syrup. Nutmeg. 

COGNAC

Victor Hugo called cognac the “liquor of the gods”. Cognac is a symbol of French luxury, distilled twice, between October 1 and March 31. Cognac is brandy but not all brandy is cognac. Got that?

BOURBON

We Southerners know all about bourbon, especially in Charleston, and just ‘cause you may be from Kentucky doesn’t make you a world expert on the big brown liquor. Bourbon is made from at least 51% corn, but rye and barley make it more beautiful. 

SYRUP 

In order to incorporate sugar into a drink, it needs to be dissolved first or you’ll end up with a sandy mess (an effect only desired in mint juleps — come back this spring to learn more!).

Simple syrup is simply made by pouring equal parts water and sugar into a saucepan. 1 : 1. The following numbers are easy too, our favorite kind of math at the Academy. Cook over medium heat for 3 minutes until sugar dissolves. Store for up to 2 weeks in the refrigerator or 6 months in the freezer. Please don’t let us hear about any of you buying a bottle of simple syrup you didn’t make yourself. You might end up sitting with the dunce hat in our corner.

NUTMEG 

Why does McCormick pack 12 spheres of nutmeg in a bottle where one nutmeg by itself lasts several years? Dear Mr. McCormick: Not one of us needs jars of spice this size for anything at home. Spices lose their essence before we use a quarter of the bottle. 

Nutmeg grows on 40' trees in Indonesia, French Guiana and India. The fruit looks like an apricot. The pit inside is nutmeg. For those who want more trivia…the red lace covering the pit is mace. Only one pound of mace can be removed from a hundred pounds of nutmeg. So, there you have it! A useless tip to toss around. 

One more useful factoid to note: nutmeg’s aroma disappears quickly so you must ground it fresh on top of the milk punch. For that you will need a microplane. 

ABOUT PROPORTIONS… 

You do not always have to stick to proportions on recipes, though the Academy preaches you should. When a classic is right, do not mess with it! Find something else to mess with.

However, I messed with many milk punches on Saturday doing my due diligence for this blog. I do not like sweet drinks, but many recipes call for too much, at least for my taste. That’s why I was messing around. And then there were more weighty decisions, such as, bourbon or cognac? How unsweet can a punch be? How much milk does a milk punch need? At least I had my little posse of dinner guests to help me with the big decisions. Milk punch is a lovely appetizer drink. It does a beautiful job of saying: Welcome to my party, and to the holiday season. Let our night begin. 

Ingredients: 

• 1/2 oz simple syrup

• 1.5 milk

• 2 ounce booze 

• nutmeg 

Put in a shaker with ice. Shake, shake, shake until frothy about 20 seconds. Strain in a glass. Garnish with freshly grated nutmeg. Enjoy!

Cocktail Parties in Isolation

Never underestimate what you can accomplish from the comfort of your own bed! E.g. Matisse…

To stay mentally healthy, we must connect. One of the most delightful ways used to be inviting people into our homes and giving them not only food and drink but also our undivided attention. Now that the world has changed and many of us are having, or will have, health emergencies, we still need to connect but we also need behave in a different way. Instead of cocktail or dinner parties (the thought of hosting them borders on bad taste!) we will learn to gather in new ways. How else will you contribute to friends’ and neighbors’ emotional health? 

How often do we get a chance to reboot the cocktail party? A powerful and inexpensive way to host is with this simple plan. Invite someone spontaneously — because when you need a companion, we guarantee one of your friends does too. Text a time, topic and menu so a little happy vibe comes through. While you pour yourself a cocktail, a glass of wine or soda water, warm some olives to nibble and find a quiet place to sit; your friend will do the same and then Zoom, Facetime, Skype, or just call. The virtual cocktail doesn’t have to go long but it will do you both some good.

Let’s all stay connected, stay sane, stay well, stay healthy at home!

'The Ultimate House Party' for January VIE

“I visited Tony and Carla in their home in southern France for two summers, and now we are family. We’ve adopted each other. When I need a lift, I tap into the memories of those halcyon days at the Hendra’s place. What could be better than reveling for a week (yes, a full week!) in communal bliss—eating, drinking, swimming, and walking around a charming village, with time for long conversations and hours of cooking? All the while, you’re leaving the frenzy of your trials and tribulations behind, at least for a spell.

A house party host must possess an overflowing heart, a hugely generous spirit (and often, an open pocketbook), boundless energy, and a willingness to carve out time for others. The house party host is the exact opposite of self-centered. The tasks are multiple, but so are the rewards for those of us who have organized house parties and been recipients of these idyllic stays. Making a group of people feel safe and loved, watered and fed for a few days is a fabulous gift….”

Read the rest of the Dean’s How To’s of World-Class Hosting (learned in large part from the Hendras) in the January 2020 issue of VIE Magazine HERE!

P.S. Another Perfect Party

It may seem impossible, but I went to yet another marvelous dinner party this Summer…

Actually, this particularly perfect dinner party was at my very own house! The special part was the group of guests — seven — three who knew each other, the other three newly arrived in Charleston. We asked each person to pick someone there they knew and tell about that person, instead of people introducing themselves. This is fun, innovative, saves everyone from bragging about themselves; plus it’s fascinating to hear what friends highlight about each other.

This only works with a small group, however. The cocktail hour was eye opening, enlightening, and by dinner everyone was acting like old friends. That’s what it’s all about: knitting together a new community right in your own house. Happy to report all six are fast friends.

"The Architecture of Dinner Party" for August VIE

George Best & his signature champagne stack, 1968. (We won’t tell you NOT to try this at home!)

“If you are asking yourself, Why bother? Let’s just go to a restaurant, STOP! The delights of a private dinner party cannot be replicated in the public arena. No waiting, no crowds, no loud party next to you. No feeling that you have to give up your table before you’re finished talking or eating dessert. At home, you can linger as long as you want under flickering candlelight. You can set your own pace, free from any pressure to give up your seats to those waiting.

You can and should move your guests wherever you please. Summer is for drinks on the balcony and dinner in the garden. Winter means cozy cocktails by the fire and dinner in the candlelit dining room. Spaces help set up moments that soothe, excite, and seduce, creating an atmosphere for meaningful conversation...”

Read the rest of Suzanne’s latest article for VIE Magazine, all about the careful construction of a good old-fashioned dinner party, HERE on their site!

Charleston Academy in Cosmopolitan

“And remember: In a sea of square-shaped biscuits, always make a heart-shaped one.” -T.A.

In her article “This Instagrammable Hotel Will Make You Forget Literally All Your Responsibilities,” Taylor Andrews writes about “errrything you have to do when you stay at The Beach Club, no matter what time of year you go….”

And guess what #7 on her list happens to be? “Learn how to throw a Southern Dinner Party. [The Dean] taught us how to throw a proper dinner party that included creating the perfect fluffy biscuit and shrimp and grits, but you can organize any sort of etiquette or cooking event with her if you’re interested in a different kind of Saturday-night rendezvous.”

We loved having Ms. Andrews visit while in town. Read her complete list via Cosmopolitan HERE!

MT. VERNON XMAS PUNCH (& other Homemade Gifts)

There is no good reason not to have an arsenal of homemade gifts on hand this time of year, whether to give to hosts of the many Christmas (and Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, etc.) parties you are sure to attend, or to reciprocate when a neighbor shows up with a little surcee for you and yours.  

Homemade gifts, like the Washington family's famed punch, can be simultaneously simple to prepare and yet still spectacular to behold, not to mention imbibe.  For as velvet-y as this punch may seem, it is a nonetheless quite potent mixture of bourbon, rum, Chartreuse, sherry, vermouth, and tea, cured for a week in tightly-sealed mason jars.  

Who knew George was such a party animal?!  You can find the recipe for Washington's Punch in our Archive.  Each jar may be individually labeled and tied up in a cheery ribbon, with serving instructions alongside for the recipient to enjoy at another occasion.

Now, there are a few ways to serve a jar of Mt. Vernon Christmas Punch.  For a small gathering of 5 or less, stick with cocktails.  Simply pour a couple ounces of the base over ice, top with either champagne or soda, and garnish with a cherry.  Why not present a plate of Cheese Coins alongside?

For 6 or more, get out the punch bowl -- we're having a party!  But first, you'll need an Ice Ring.  Simply fill a bundt pan halfway with cranberries, cherries, or any other festive fruit to garnish your punch.  Then run hot water over the pan to loosen the ice, flip it into the bowl, and top with 2-3 bottles of champagne to put it to action.  Like so:

There you have it, Mt. Vernon Christmas Punch, the gift that keeps on giving.  There are plenty of other goodies you can whip up and portion for casual gifting, whether alongside the punch or no.  Try biscotti, bourbon cake, or Raisin Scones.

But, if your kitchen is already sanctioned for other grandiose projects -- we're making Prime Rib for Christmas Eve dinner (more on that a little later this week) -- build your Holiday credit with promises for the New Year: offer to make a series of meals, complete with menu suggestions, for someone extra special, or plan to throw a dinner party in their honor.  Or, simply take all your girlfriends out for a nice lunch and hand out a few fabulous party favors.

Regardless, 'tis the season to let the people you love know exactly how you feel...and to drink lots of punch!

XO, the Academy

Tea Party Class

How does one even think of an afternoon tea party during the dog days of Summer in Charleston? Creatively, with new eyes!

Anyone, anytime, can learn to enjoy a proper tea time and the accompanying spread.

One of the Dean’s favorite men, a cross between Jimmy Stewart and Mr. Rogers, organizes a week long camp for his grandchildren. His camp includes a range of lessons and activities from tennis, sailing, art history, and even how to flip an omelette, which he teaches himself. He recruits all kinds of teachers for his grandchildren's summer visits. This year he asked the Charleston Academy to teach a tea party class to two smart granddaughters, aged nine and twelve. 

First order of business, and perhaps why the Academy of Domestic Pursuits is more fun than any other school in the country, was getting Granddad situated, satisfied, amused, and interested in tea parties. The Dean had her two charges learning how to make an Old Fashioned cocktail for their grandfather while the Granddad sat spellbound. Two young girls learning bartender tips! Why not? The Dean learned how to make an extraordinary Old Fashioned from FIG’s very hip bartender, Andrew King. Tricks Andrew uses include not one but two cocktail glasses, two different kinds of ice, and stirring for 35 seconds. (Disclaimer: of course the Dean explained to the girls that this was an adult drink made of brown liquor they would no doubt find repulsive.)

Next up, three "mocktails" sans rye: soda water, a dash of peach bitters, balloon ice, and a garnish of orange slices plus Luxardo cherries stabbed with a toothpick. Once armed and ready to tackle the tea tasks that lay ahead, the girls reviewed and thankfully approved the menu of cream scones and cucumber tea sandwiches.

For the cream scones, the girls had to decide on two important issues. Yellow raisins or none? Triangles or round? Even though the Dean called the raisins ‘golden’ instead of yellow, both girls shook their heads to say no raisins of any color. The shape choice was easier, although one chose round and the other, triangles. Then the fine arts of measuring, mixing, rolling and cutting; these sisters came well-versed in many baking techniques. One has already invented a recipe involving a marshmallow injected with colored frosting to get her school friends sugared up at birthday parties. 

Scones in the oven, cucumbers out of fridge! But before tea sandwiches, one essential truth: when you are making a simple recipe, each ingredient needs to be of the very best quality because you cannot hide taste. In this case, the bread, butter, salt, and even the cucumber need to be super delicious. Nothing got past the older sister; she said she tastes the difference between the butters her mom buys. But luckily both could vouch Pepperidge Farm which sells very thin white and wheat breads. The company must have started in the tea sandwich business, so perfect are those breads for that purpose. 

A tip: ensure the bread does not get too soggy by placing paper-thin disks of cucumber on a paper towel and sprinkling lightly with salt. Allow them to weep gently into the paper towel while you butter the bread and trim the crusts. After a good cry, the cucumbers will not slime up your sandwiches and the delicate cucumber flavor is intensified.

Scones out of the oven -- a lesson in using an oven mitt and rack! The girls set a table on their grandparent’s screened porch, arranged scones on one platter and sandwiches on another, then filled ice buckets with ice cubes. The hot weather problem was brilliantly solved by these two young ladies. Instead of hot tea, they decided that we would enjoy ice cold water from their their grandmothers porcelain tea cups. 

Even the Dean was amazed how a pile of scones disappeared before teatime was half over. Each girl filled her tiny stomach with at least a dozen scones first, then cucumber sandwiches while sipping ice water, pinkies raised. The party discussed the weighty matters of birthday parties -- invitations, venues, and what to do about hurt feelings when you are left off of the guestlist. 

If your tea party is at any other time of the year than July or August, or indoors with the air conditioner working overtime, then you should know that the tea we take at the Academy comes from the UK: Resolution Tea from Botham’s of Whitby. In fact, we are addicted. Yes, overseas postage nowadays tends to make one’s eyes water. But we did the math and six boxes of one hundred tea bags plus shipping comes to less than nineteen cents per bag -- well worth it for such an enduring and enjoyable tradition.

A Dinner Party in Twenty Minutes

The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie: the opposite of a twenty minute dinner party.

What happens when you invite guests for 6:00 PM, but then you get so involved at work that when you look at the time on your computer, it says 5:35? Can you get dressed & made up, set the table and cook dinner in just twenty minutes? The answer is, YES. (The Dean learned this by accident one recent Monday night.)

Here’s what to do:

Resist the urge to immediately call guests and say all of a sudden, you're not feeling well. The Dean knew her menu included seafood stew, a salad, roasted peach halves with bourbon for dessert. What she didn’t know was what to wear or where everyone should sit...

5:35. Turn the oven on broil, put a dutch oven over medium heat and add a slug of olive oil. 

5.37. Slice two large peaches in half, fill them with a spoonful of sugar and a slug of bourbon, and put the four peach halves in a sauté pan over high heat. 

5:37. Roughly slice a large red onion and place in hot Dutch oven with a few whole garlic cloves, peeled.

5:41. Place sauté pan of peaches under broiler. Put timer on ten minutes. Stir onions.

5:43. Exit kitchen, with onions on medium heat and peaches under broiler. Run three flights upstairs while deciding what to wear.

5:44. Put on one outfit. Decide that looks wrong and put on another shirt. Try to do some quick make up. Whatever!  

5:50. Race downstairs to the smell of caramelizing onions (another way of saying they are on their way to burning, but haven't quite. Instead, just perfectly caramelized which means extra flavor.) Stir onions and add a jar of tomato sauce. 

5:52. Take out bag of defrosted shrimp and bag of calamari from refrigerator. Realize that even though they have been in the fridge since morning (because you are so organized and an excellent planner) no actual defrosting has taken place...

5:53. Put bags of frozen shrimp and calamari in a bowl and run warm water over bags, saying a little prayer that by 6:25 they will actually thaw!

5:55. Take out four silver forks, knives, spoons, shallow bowls, dessert plates, olives, two different kinds of bourbon and cocktail glasses. 

6:00. READY TO ROLL! Doorbell rings, guests arrive.

The Dean then explained the situation, garnering laughs and offers to pitch in. Cocktails? One guy choose bourbon, one guy soda water, one woman white wine. High-alcohol beer for the host. While cocktails were being organized and poured, the Dean threw together the famous Academy croutons while tomatoes and onions simmered on low, the peaches came down to room temperature, and seafood (still) thawed in the sink. Finally, where to eat? Decision: a movable feast. One small garden table for Stew. Another small garden table for salad. By the time the mosquitos started biting, everyone moved inside for dessert of roasted peaches and chocolate bars at the dining table.

Perfect!

Pat Conroy & Cocktail Parties for VIE Magazine

Caroline Pollak, Pat Conroy, and Suzanne Pollak.

If you missed Suzanne Pollak's piece upon the passing of legendary Pat Conroy -- a touching recount of her time spent cooking and co-authoring his cookbook -- you will find it recently published in VIE Magazine, followed by the official Academy Guide to Cocktail Party Attire.

Read the full articles HERE & HERE (respectively) via VIE! This month, look for Suzanne's notes on hosting, whether a society ball or an intimate dinner for a few friends. Coming Soon...

SUMMER PARTY PLAYLIST

Alain Delon, Brigitte Bardot, & Eddie Barclay beat the heat with style in St. Tropez. Where else?

Once you know what to wear to a mid- (OK maybe late) Summer eve cocktail party, you may as well just get gussied up and host one of your own. But you are going to need a signature cocktail -- perhaps a Paloma? -- and some choice tunes to make it all sing!

So we turned to our dear friend, Alex Admiral Collier, composer and music manager at Eastward Music for a summer playlist to help entertain guests and distract from the blistering heat. This playlist includes new and old songs alike, to usher in wistful memories of cooler, simpler times. Enjoy while imbibing with friends for a heightened sense of nostalgia while subconsciously creating new memories. CHEERS!

A Few Indispensable Tips on Cocktail Party Attire

It’s chic to wear a fantastic ‘something’ over and over to make it your signature. Just as smart hosts cook their favorite recipe again and again, no matter who comes to dinner, because they know their guests look forward to their culinary specialty; the chicest women throughout history know the style repetition secret. 

Even a simple ensemble can become your signature with the right attitude and accessories...

That 'thing’ can be an accessory, a dress, a shoe. The Dean learned from native and expatriate ladies swanning into her parents 1960's cocktail parties all over Africa. Women wore cigarette pants for casual affairs and jewel-toned satin mini cocktail dresses at fancier parties. Along with real hair dos (coifs, up-dos), eye liner flaring out just like Cleopatra, brilliant lips inhaling pearl or golden cigarette holders, perhaps even a huge cocktail ring or elaborate earrings...none of these beauties boasted a colossal wardrobe with unlimited choices but they had a cocktail uniform that took them anywhere. Once vital decisions are decided, brains are free to tackle life’s thornier problems: whom to invite to the party, which stranger to talk to first at someone else’s, how to grab attention, connect, ignite a fire, or tactfully end a conversation that's headed nowhere.

One Taffin ring...

and another.

The teenage Dean appropriated the tip immediately and forever. Deciding and simplifying what to wear wherever is cheaper and quicker once you you know what suits you. Dressing becomes a snap, so be loyal and stick with your style. Adding that something extra, or taking it off, makes the outfit appropriate for the particular party and place. 

Because, of course, it makes a difference where the cocktail party is: Hollywood, California, Hollywood SC, Beirut, Tripoli or Paris; the Ambassador’s residence or your neighbor’s garden? "When in Rome," so the saying goes. You don’t want to be dramatically different than everyone else unless you can handle it. For example, a man does not wear a motorcycle jacket when he attends a soirée at Charleston’s  Yacht Club. Men there wear the proper uniform of khaki pants and a blue blazer. The Dean once knew two young American beauties visiting the south of France who were assured that everyone, absolutely everyone, went topless to parties at a certain place. Perhaps a little naïve, they showed up appropriately undressed to a party filled with elegant older couture-covered guests. Still embarrassed decades later! 

Dressing comes down to the first impression. What can a first impression tell us about someone whom we only met for a moment at a party? Of course we all know human beings are complex and contradictory, but you don’t have to live with someone to sense immediately if you want more of them or less. The package of you starts with eye contact, the smile and what is draping your body. Identify what you want out of the engagement. Something, or nothing? There to sip one bourbon, or to possibly meet your next business associate or romantic partner? You don’t want your clothes to get in the way. A woman does not want to be so flashy others are distracted from substance, but neither does she want to seem too dowdy. 

Figure out your primary assets -- cleavage, neck, arms, hair -- and choose cocktail attire accordingly. For your own engagement, you will need to move, sit and stand. As a guest you can swan around or sprawl on a sofa as you wish.

For reference, here is the Dean's summer cocktail uniform: Hart tassels, J. McLaughlin white blouse and cigarette pants, with extra pointy shoes to make legs look longer. This pair of Balenciaga mules harkens back to the time of Robin Hood! Because they are extravagant, they will be worn with jeans all fall and winter, for hosting ladies luncheons and gumbo dinner parties, with a Halloween costume, for a Thanksgiving feast and Christmas dinner, even just for hanging out at home.

Flash Party in Review

No One Hour Party ever left anyone feeling quite like this...at least not of its own accord. 

The reason why the penultimate night of the year is ideal for a One Hour Party is because the following night always starts too early, goes on for too long and ends up a little snooze-y by the time the Ball drops. Not to mention, the OHP must be given in cities or neighborhoods where guests can easily get to the party by foot or by a short taxi ride, without a long travel commitment. Sixty minutes of fun isn’t worth a thirty minute commute.

People arrive knowing they do not have a lot of time, sort of like Henry the VIII with his wives. Get right to it! Find the person you most want to talk to, dispense with wasted words and wasted time, delve into a real conversation. The clicking time clock remains on guests minds in an exciting way.

The infamous Ice Cube Trick worked wonders, saved time and even impressed the Academy’s Dean of Drinkery. The hostess discovered that it only takes a moment to separate ice from water balloons when you run under the faucet to melt slightly. The orbs were placed in waiting Old Fashioned glasses and lined up on the bar for guests to ladle their punch into upon arrival. This functioned as a way to get hands involved immediately -- a tiny but genius trick. (Anybody would rather pour a cocktail than wash a dish.)

As for hors d'ouevres, the hostess made ‘cocktail' instead of ‘breakfast' biscuits, which required a healthy grinding of fresh pepper into the dough. Then, the host filled biscuits with very generous servings of speck and lardo. He announced that the lardo replaced the cheese with its creamy texture. There was enough black pepper plus slices of speck to excite every taste bud and satisfy each stomach until guests enjoyed their dinner at some other place later on in the evening.

Don’t be fooled as to the workload of an OHP. It's hardly different than a regular cocktail party except for the fact that you offer one and only one appetizer + cocktail. The host went with the season and made a citrus & tequila punch. For those who didn’t want hard alcohol or would have rather had wine…too bad! They made due with Pellegrino for sixty minutes.

People policed themselves and really did manage to leave at the one hour mark, except for the couple who stayed and stayed and thank goodness they did! How else would we have discovered our Goose Guest, a financial man with a Ph.D. in goose and all it’s culinary charms? Which brings us to the final secret to any successful party, whether a quickie or an all-nighter: Invite the widest range of guests possible in ages, professions, interests. The Dean herself was honored to be included in the eclectic One Hour Party mix. 

XMAS PARTY VIBES

There's nothing we love more than a good party playlist -- and no one we trust more to compile one than Alex Collier at Sunday Ent.! May your holidays be merry & bright with these jingles from the Master, and perhaps a batch of George Washington's Punch from the Dean...

THE PERFECT PLAYLIST:

Dinners for Three

The Dean loves a good trio. The chicest dinner party she's attended of late happened in NYC, hosted by a super busy deputy director of a major institution (a friend whose identity shall remain a secret, as always.) Somehow, this doyenne finds the time to cook, set a glorious table, pour champagne, and even, in Summers past, fill a kitchen shelf with bottles of her put-up tomatoes, peaches, plums -- which just proves the Academy's number one discovery: the busiest people in the world somehow manage to get the the most done.

Enter this beauty's house and her dinner is nearly prepared, but not quite. Genius move! The guest sees the host in action and the house smells heavenly so taste buds tingle. The entertaining atmosphere becomes cozy, soothing, comforting, exciting, relaxing all at once because you are hanging out in the kitchen. Who wouldn't fall in love? 

Her no fail hors d'oeuvres? More genius! Chips and cashews. No work, easy peasy.  The water bottles on the table? Genius again! This exotic lady collects interesting shaped liquor bottles and when the alcohol is finished, keeps the beautiful bottles filled with water in her fridge. 

The Dean loves peeking into powder rooms, whether she needs to use one or not. These tiny rooms reveal so much. Her's was moody and sexy with a dimly burning candle, scented not too sweet. (Cloying candles are a major turn off, if you don't already know.) The dark aura would make anyone appear beautiful. Here's a tip -- if you want all your guests to feel glamorous, then the powder room is a tool in your arsenal. 

Back to the guest number...three is just perfect. You will have a chance to really get to know someone if one is unknown. Or, if you are old friends, then you can really catch up. Dinners for three are less work, easier to clean up, and deliver huge returns. Relationships glue together by the end of the night. 

Thank you my NYC Secret Lake Diver.

Dinner Parties Gone Wrong

Wondering what to do when a dinner party goes south?

• DON'T do what Bravo’s Southern Charmers did at Thomas Ravenel’s: look and linger. When a train wreck happens, move fast A.S.A.P. Of course it’s mesmerizing to watch an explosion, but the smart money doesn't. They leave and want no part of a coming disaster. They run, run, run out the door if they are guests who have the option to do so...* 
• DO "keep calm and carry on" if you find yourself host to a train wreck. The Dean once had a guest who threw a tantrum right at her dinner table. The conversation involved politics (might well happen this year, beware!) Said guest lost his cool and bolted. If this happens to you, there is a positive -- people will never forget the evening. To keep things from following suit, simply pretend like nothing happened. The rest of the guests are waiting to see what you do. Guests take their cue from their captain.

*Luckily behavior this bad is a reality on reality shows only and not likely to occur at any real life dinner party.