RIP Tony Hendra

Sometimes you are lucky enough to find a friend who is one of the wonders of the world, a person who changes your life. These people might be complicated and even difficult at times, but it doesn’t matter because you don’t live with them. You just get to enjoy the person’s fabulousness, their intellect, their humor, their care. They see the real you.

I’ve been super blessed to have two once-in-a-lifetime friends like this, now both passed away. The priest Father William Ralston I have missed every day for twenty years. The other friend, Tony Hendra, died this past week. These men are irreplaceable spirits. 

Tony Hendra, actor in Spinal Tap, bestselling author of Father Joe, was an extraordinary home chef, funny to the point of making people’s ribs hurt and minds sharper, with the largest and softest heart. I find anyone who has been through tragedy transforms into a person who understands at a different level. 

Most of all, Tony was my friend. He called me Mrs. P. and I called him Mr. T. Tony had ideas for the Charleston Academy which we worked on together. Just the fact that Tony saw potential in the Academy confirmed to me that my effort and energy put into the business was worthwhile, time well spent. 

Tony was my teacher. He showed me how to sharpen and store knives, skin a deer, coil and cook merguez, dance by the side of the pool, cleave guinea hen breasts, enjoy life! He was a consummate host and a deft culinarian. Tony’s love language was feeding his family. Then, he was a master at work, and the best part was Tony was a home cook through and through.

May you rest in peace my dear friend.