Heartbreak at Home

The Deans biggest heartbreaks this summer have not been affairs of the heart in the traditional sense, but we are heartbroken nonetheless.  How is a solid, sturdy structure sometimes a sucking vortex?  The Deans are not geologists, astrologists or whoever studies the phenomena, so this question stumps the Deans. It doesn’t matter how valuable the object is, from socks to fine jewelry. Ostensibly the front door has not been opened, yet things are not here. Dog’s stomach? Ether? Hidden in a closet? Thrown away by accident?

We don’t know…that’s what being lost means. You can’t find the item. Remember when saying the dog ate your homework? Far worse is when it’s true. Sometimes our co-inhabitants are the culprits.

Dean Pollak came home the other night and her dog had dragged her white crocodile pocketbook onto the living room floor and had eaten her tiny orange Hermes jewelry pouch within. Ominously the entrails - the straps - were beneath the sofa, and after a hard target search of the house, left the only remaining place it could be: Teddie’s stomach. After several long walks around town, the evidence mounted.  

CROCODILE PURSE - notice chewed handle on left side...

And the culprit...

STRAPS 

Dean Manigault has scoured her house from top to bottom because she is missing four individual earrings. This wouldn’t be so odd if she had worn any of the pairs in the last year. Maybe she would have taken one off to talk on the phone or traveled somewhere and left one, but no, they should be right where she left them. Surely a thief would have take both. And Dean Pollak hasn’t brought Teddie over, so last week’s perpetrator is off the hook for this caper.  Dean Manigault’s ex-husband would blame every missing item on a poltergeist which goes a long way to explaining why he is her EX-husband.

THE LONE SURVIVORS 

Dean Manigault's heart is heavy and sagging in her chest at the sight if the four lone beauties.  The pendant earings were a gift from her late father when she was 15.  Where oh where are they?! So baffling.  And seemingly unfair.  

Some mysteries are never to be solved.  That is why they are mysteries.  The air of suspense does nothing to dampen the pain and in the cases of the lost objects, the pain is deep and wounding.  We may not be able to take it with us, but we had hoped to hang onto it a bit longer! Maybe Dean Manigault should have stayed married, because poltergeists do exist in our houses.